The Key

While there are many people out there who offer those in my position acceptance and support, there is still a significant undercurrent of people who find what I'm doing to be odd, horrible, and perverse. I don't think that these kinds of attitudes are a surprise to anyone.

What may be surprising, however, is that in spite of these perceptions, in spite of the ridicule and violence that is levied upon trans people in the world, I still ardently believe that at the core of everyone, there is good; that there is a desire to do right and to do right by other people. As illogical as this may sound coming from someone who's mired in their own personal gender catastrophe, I believe that those who vilify people like myself DO believe that what they're doing is "right".

Now one may argue, "How can inflicting pain on a group of people who are just out to live their lives (and who are not harming anyone) be right in any way?" Valid point. Personally, however, I feel that the motivation behind these people doing what they think is right is all a matter of not fully understanding what being trans is all about. (As an aside, I can't even contemplate how much animosity is generated in this world by sheer lack of understanding... but I digress.)

I've read all the arguments against people like myself:

• You can't change who you are... if you were born male (or female), you'll always be that way, no matter what you do to yourself.
• It's immoral.
• It's against the laws of nature.
• It's mutilation.
• etc.
• etc.
• etc.

If I could convey one thing to these people it is solely this:
Bring trans is not a choice.
That's it. That's all there is to it.
It's the key to everything when it comes to this.

No one chooses to be this way. Sure, we may choose to do something about the feelings that bombard us with misery on a daily basis, but no one chooses to have these feelings in the first place. They're just there. They exist... and they grow stronger with each passing year. The effect of this on someone's psyche seems to grow exponentially as the days pass by, and it's just crippling at times. I've seen this, not only in myself, but in many of the trans people who I've come across in my life.

An article from the BBC even states that Australian researchers have found a genetic link to transsexuality, which occurs in the womb. Here's another excellent (and very in-depth) page about it.

And just speaking from my own personal experience, which I've delved into in earlier posts, I fought these feelings for 15 years or so before even admitting to myself that this may be an issue. This was followed by visits to no less than four different therapists (some of whom I saw for years), all in an attempt to get them to tell me that this wasn't the case with me, and that it MUST be something else. ANYTHING but this.

Again, the point I'm really trying to deliver here is that this needs to be accepted as something that isn't chosen. This needs to be seen as something that someone just is. When one does that, they can better see the emotional and psychological misery that this produces in a person. They can better see how not being in concert with your own body is a truly searing trauma. They can better see the societal stigma attached to it, and see just how truly wrong these views are. They can, ultimately, better see that when you have to deal with the incongruence AND THEN have to deal with all the negativity and societal stigmas hurled at you, it wreaks horrible outcomes. (As I also stated in an earlier post, this is why 30% of trans people kill themselves. 3 out of 10. Sobering numbers... to say the least.)

If society at large could see that this is not a choice. If they could see that this is something that many, many people have to deal with that is causing them immeasurable pain. If they could just see that this is something that has been documented by scores of cultures throughout the course of history, and that this is purely a rare, yet natural, variation in a person, I really think that the good hearts that govern these people would be more apt to reach out and try to help than to shirk away in fear and revulsion.

This is what I hope for. This is what I hope is to come for people like myself. It's hard enough to have to deal with the trans feelings in and of themself. If the social stigma was alleviated, it would make SO many lives easier, and more productive, and more positive. Ultimately, the world would get better. The abatement of that kind of pain across a huge mass of people can only be for the good. Again... it can only be for the good. If you're one who wants to do good and who wants to do what's right, how can the easing of that much terrible pain be seen in any other light?

All the best, and warmest regards.